Creativity

The other day, while chatting with a new friend during the late night hours at a bar/café/lounge, we got on to the topic of creativity and how I feel that where my siblings blossomed, I struggled to be noticed.  They shared the imagination and artisitc spirit of drawing, painting and building things.   I behaved like a jealous weed in a beautiful garden, doing my best to get noticed and overtake the field.  I would watch as my brother would build a lego city for hours, deep in trance, and wait for him to finish only to walk and stomp over while making Godzilla noises.  I was young and the middle child (still am!)

 I was immature and selfish.  Call it the middle child syndrom, at least that is what psychologists say. lol.  As the years came on I started shining in my own way for being warm, caring, attentive, grounded and a soothing presence for many.  We are all given different gifts, and something I realized these past few days is that I tell myself and others that I lack creativity.  In fact, I am very creative.  I write.  I write a lot, I have journals and drafts of blog entries just sitting there unshared because I feel they are too personal to share with just anyone.  Just now, I am compelled and feeling a string of emotions that I want to write down and share.  Although I hold back, perhaps to write a more personal entry, just for myself.  The thing is though, is it selfish for me to be creative for my eyes only?  One of the beautiful things about being creative and creating art is to share with others, right?

This friend that I have recently made has caused quite an impact on me and he has made me aware of many things not only about myself, but about this journey that I am on.  There were moments that I thought, if only I came to Paris 4 years ago when I had the opportunity, but I now realize, I didn't because I followed my instincts, and I am here, now, because it is the right time.  I have that feeling that things are going to work out so great and so beautifully that I am amazed as to how just when you think you know everything about yourself, you can learn something else that was there with you since the beginning, you just had your  mind focused on the wrong garden.  I needed to focus on what is growing in my garden, not my siblings or my friends gardens.  Some people paint, draw, make music, design clothes.  I write.  I want to say thanks to my friend, because we had that conversation and I was reflecting on it today, I had this realization.  We are our own gardeners and as such, must maintain our own gardens and cultivate whatever grows there.

Paris has always attracted creative people, it could just simply be a combination of many different factors, me maturing and learning more about myself.  The friend mentioned before shared this song with me because of our love for Paris, and since music is a form of creativity here you go.

To my brother Jessy, if you ever read this, I am sorry for destroying all your Lego and micro machines city's, lol.  You know I love you.